This summer has been a life lesson for me. I have experienced so many different things and overcome many different fears and obstacles. I remember the first week of training, wondering what the heck I was doing here. I knew very little about what I was going to be doing and had never done the majority of the things that we were going to be doing this summer. I had an overwhelming fear of failing at this job, at messing up the work site or getting a kid hurt during rock climbing or rappelling. These fears seemed to suffocate me as the three weeks of training progressed. Then, the day of rappel training, God got fed up with me living the opportunity He had given me with a fear of failure and blind sighting all the good things that were and were to come from the ministry He had called me to for the summer. I was rappelling for the first time, and I remember being terrified inside because I had never done it and had no clue what I was doing. I was thinking how stupid I would be if I failed and couldn't make it down the cliff. This fear just built up inside of me and as Colleen hooked me up to rappel down the cliff, I could picture God just laughing and thinking, "Since you are so afraid of failing at this you are going to fail just so I can make a point." I took two steps off the cliff and completely possumed (hanging upside down with my back against the cliff). I managed to get up and finish going down the cliff without falling again, however while doing the fireman's belay at the bottom of the rope, standing there looking out at God's beautiful creation at Red River Gorge, I heard Him whisper to me, "Jess, you will never experience success without failing because without failing it is never true success." It was in that moment that I felt my fears being torn down and this sense of understanding that if I am not willing to make mistakes and try new things that I can't predict the outcome of, how will I ever be able to move on in life? I would only become stagnant in my faith and never move out of my comfort zone, therefore never challenging myself to go to a new level and become more than what I am now. This summer has brought many little life lessons such as this one, but it has also given me the opportunity to face this fear of failing by putting my full trust in God. That no matter what I am doing, my failure might be a big success for someone else and that even my failures can be used by God to bring glory to His name. God's got me and through all the different things I have encountered this summer that is the one thing that continues to appear in the forefront of my mind. Paul knew what he was saying when he wrote, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. " It's true. God has been my strength in everything and in every way this summer. Blessings -JAbner
